1) In Nigeria nothing gives joy than having your own personal original charger 2) Can you Imagine what happened today I saw Two Slay Queens arguing on who first started being a Slay Queen I think its Time we start giving Slay Queens Registration Number.. 3) Pls izzi true that Short people can tie their shoe lace while standing?.. 4) I thought I have seen it all..... Until I saw a baby drinking breast milk with bread..... 5) You want your relationship to be like that of Romeo and Juliet... Did Juliet ask for recharge card, Gucci bag. 6) Wickedness is when you wish a fat girl A happy birthday and also tell her "bigger bigger you, 7) I pray Ladies can be very wicked..... How can you save a guys number as " *pig*" 8) Some guyz will wake up by 2am to pee... And they will post on Facebook. "Real hustlers don't sleep".. Who are you deceiving.... Goodnyt guyz Come ooo... 9) Who taught Nigerians to keep broom at the back of the door.. 10) Jesuu, Ho my God!! Someone just commented to a Girls Photo saying! And I qoute "you look so VIEWTIFULL" 11) Never reject a gift from ur ex, it's your PENSION collect it with joy 12) Heart break is nt when ur love leaves you....... Heart break: is wen ur newly wedded wife is in the kitchen preparing dinner and she ask "honey how many maggi should i put in the pounded yam??" 13) Na this one shock me pass..... Which one be give me "cold ice cream" Just shift lemme laugh 14) Dear Future Kids, I'm not the one delaying ooo.Your mother is still busy dating one useless guy, I hope she doesn't finish your breast milk Ur Responsible mother 15) Your boyfriend beats you on a daily basis and you still upload his photo and caption it "You bring out the best in me" my sister are you an "ogene drum" 16) When you are in church chilling with your friends... and your mom starts giving testimony about how *God* delivered you of bad mouth odor.. 17) I'm still mad at NOAH for allowing Mosquitoes to enter the Ark, He will have just allow them to be destroyed by flood now see how mosquito draw Africa Map on my body. 18) If you see any post like... "Every disappointment is a blessing" Just know that the person failed jamb 19) A weed smoker fell from the 1st floor of a storey building. A nearby crowd rushes to help him: Crowd: What happened? Weed smoker: I don't know ooo. I also just arrived. 20) Girls and Fashion...Some Girls handbag be looking like Ballot Box as if they want to go and rig election 21) Pressing phone while pooing.... Makes pooing interesting.... Do I have a witness in the house 22) WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT YOUR EX? American Girl... Well, I will say I miss him everyday and I believe he misses me too, he is a great guy, was actually the best thing da happened to me.. we loved each other so much buh it just didn't work out for both of us and he moved on buh I miss him.. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT YOUR EX? Nigerian Girl... that idiot? He is devil himself, sometimes when I sit down and I wonder what I was thinking when I agreed to date that good for nothing shameless goat. God will surely punish him everyday of his life.... but wait oo which my ex were u asking of?.... 23) Tomorrow I will be calling all the cockroaches and rats in my house for a MEETING so we can discuss how we will be sharing the rent.. I dnt knw who owns the house anymore... 24) Why is KFC chicken so expensive..... Did the chicken attend private school... 25) 14 years imprisonment for Gay in Nigeria...They will still put them in the same cell with other guys Is that not Honeymoon 26) My sister if you ex texts you and say " I still love you and I want you back".... My sister just reply "I don't do part 2's, am not a Nigerian movie" 27) Girls who wear chains around their legs Abeg the slave trade is over nah... Stop giving us flash back Am at my busstop.... Come and beat me 28) What's happening to this world sef..... You are not Rihanna Aunty wear bra ooo... 29) I don't know why some people are still feeling so proud like they are the only ones buying expensive things in Nigeria.... My dear we are all buying expensive things these days.. Even if na only onion you buy, you are living large 30) I bought a pant of N9,000 and you expect me wear it under my trouser? Hell NO!.....Abeg ooo If you see someone dress like superman on the streets just know that its me 31) Forget about electricity shocking.... Nothing shocks more than touching you pocket and then discover that your phone isn't there 32) Igbo children be like; "Palents risten to ya chirldlen, We are d lizard of tomollow". na joke oo 33) Don't feel too big when guyz ask you for your contact.... 98% of them will not call you, its just our hobby... 34) Dear bestie.... I hope we remain bestie forever, even after we die... We can become "Ghostie" and scare people for fun I hope i left a smile on ur face